We are all awesome in our own way. YOU are awesome… I am awesome… and we are all trying our best at life and succeeding at it much of the time. Lists are made and intentions are high that we will accomplish all or most of what we set out to do. And then it happens… life gets in the way and a big part of the schedule flies out the window! It happens to me… actually it happens to me a lot.
The issue seems to be, that most of us are obsessing about the tasks that do not get completed far more than we are celebrating what we do get done! Weird… but natural.
The thing about guilt… believe it or not… is that we all choose to experience it and allow it into our lives. We actually look for things to feel guilty about. Yes we do. Now hear me out… does this sound sort of typical?
You get up in the morning and begin your day. You eat breakfast (or not) and shower (or not) and get ready for whatever tasks are ahead of you. Throughout the day you make choices. Choices about which call to take, or which project you will focus on, or whether or not you will go to the grocery store or find the time for little Billy’s baseball game. You choose each action and deal with the subsequent reactions to your efforts. Sounds simple right? It is! The problem begins at the end of the day when you reassess your choices. So many things are left undone or there were many different choices you could have made and you lament these choices. Then the guilt sets in…
The guilt about what you DID NOT DO! Perhaps you didn’t get to Billy’s game because you needed to finish the project for your company and meet your timeline. Perhaps you went to the game and gave up on the project knowing that your company would ultimately suffer for your choices. Either way… you did not do it ALL… and now… you feel guilty about it and that guilty feeling seems to be ruling us! What an extreme waste of our already precious time!
As entrepreneurs (many of us home based) we feel the need to be all and do all… ALL of the time. This is just not possible. We all have the exact same 24 hours in each day and it is what we choose to do with those hours that can define our success or failure. If we choose to forgo our children’s sporting events in favour of work then we have failed at being a good parent and missed out on a potential memory for the family. If we choose to forgo the work and be with the family then we have failed at our business. The same is true if we neglect the house cleaning in favour of our marketing or we choose to skip a monthly newsletter so that we can spend the day at a museum. I could go on and on… but that wouldn’t help to solve the problem.
So what can we do about this? Are we destined to be “glass 1/2 empty” type of people or is there an answer? What can we honestly do about the nagging pains of guilt that seem to make us feel mediocre and unfulfilled? You will be happy to know that I do have a simple answer for you. I really do!
Give yourself permission to not feel guilty. Simple right? It can be! Each time you feel badly about not accomplishing your family duties, or your business tasks etc, reassess your time spent for the day. Did you lounge around idly watching TV instead of working on the goals you had laid out for yourself? maybe you did… so what? Tomorrow is another day and you have yet another chance to make it count! If you worked all day as hard as you could and you just didn’t get it all done… then give yourself a pat on the back for not being lazy and celebrate what you did get done. There will be another newsletter for you to write next month and I am sure Billy will come to understand that sometimes sacrifices need to be made. It is when we consistently make choices that unhinge our lives that we can run into trouble. Too much work or too much of anything for that matter will lead to unbalance.
Permission… to try again the next day… to NOT let guilt rule your emotions… to let go for goodness sake and relax! Permission to be human and to fail once in awhile. By frequently reassessing your successes and failures you will able to make choices that will help to keep you in balance. Strive to find that balance and to forgive yourself for your shortcomings.
Remember… You are doing your best and you ARE AWESOME.
~Dawn